Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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