If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
