how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
