Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
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I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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