stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
