I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
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May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
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Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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