Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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