I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
