and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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