Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
