he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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