can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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