Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
wow bdsm is so cute
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
