Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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