naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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