fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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