Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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