before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
