I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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