Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
