So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
