Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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