I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
