Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I want a musical about memes.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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