I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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