2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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