I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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