i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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