If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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