Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
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My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
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LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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