What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We are two peas in an std pod
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize