i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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