I am in a vortex of obligation.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize