Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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