i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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