even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
