just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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