you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
