i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I think I sprained my soul last night
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
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