We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
