Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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