I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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