He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
