My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
