nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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