id be glad to
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
