Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
