Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
