I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
someone owes me an orgasm
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
