so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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