Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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