Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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