you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
