i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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