I'm sorry my penis didn't work
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
