i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Be still, my beating vagina.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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