guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
