he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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