Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
