The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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