I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
