I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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