your parents love me but you hate me
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
there is puke in my bra ... again
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