Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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