My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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