dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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